On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
