i don't like sucking hair
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
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Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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