I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.