They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility