Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
