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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Da na na, na na naa

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• (941): View more from Florida

  you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

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• (727): View more from Florida

  A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet

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• (415): View more from California

  He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.

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• (585): View more from New York

  He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir

  (716): View more from New York

  That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds

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