We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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