Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
