He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
What changed your mind?
Being sober
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
