this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
