i don't like sucking hair
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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