Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
