FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize