Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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