It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
