You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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