You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
