bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
