i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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