Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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