I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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