woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
