wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
