that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i believe in u and ur pee
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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