how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
