There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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