in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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