Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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