I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
