spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
