I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
