Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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