hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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