I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Blood and glitter go together right?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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