So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
