I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
