The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
false alarm, still single
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
