I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
