idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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