Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize