Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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