I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
