I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
