Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
