shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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