I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think your dad took our porno
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
