you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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