Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
