True but thats because hes a fetus.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
