dude i'm inner monologue high
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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