I love black thongs
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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