Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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