respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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