No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
