P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
that may or may not have been my penis.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
