Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
