I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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