i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
