To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
