it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
