Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize