About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
