Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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