i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
