1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
