we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
