is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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