Define "chronic" masturbator.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
