The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
