Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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