My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
